AUNTIE’S LAST VISIT

Auntie was lying in a bed in the intensive care unit. Her eyes were closed. She was sleeping. There was oxygen mask covering her nose and mouth to help her breathing. Wires were here and there covering her body. Equipments were put beside her bed. Her breath was heavy as if there were big stones on her chest.

I was walking close to her bed. Her room was quiet. The very sounds came from equipments that were put in every side of the patients lying in the room. Sadly, seeing the scene in front of me, I tried to speak to her: “Auntie, this is Anna, coming to see you. Can you hear me?”. I whispered in her right ear while my cousin was staring at her face from her left side. “Auntie, please open your eyes, this is Anna, coming here to see you!”. I tried to talk to her once again.

Weakly, she tried to open her eyes. She looked at me, tried to say something but could not manage. Then she closed her eyes again, and fell asleep due to the medicine administered through her vein.

My cousin called me this morning informing that her mom fell from the bed. She could not walk or talk, just tears emerged from her eyes. Rushingly, she was run to a hospital near her house. It was October 10, 2007. The doctor who examined her said that she got a stroke.

A week before, it was October 1, 2007, Auntie came to visit us. Auntie is the elder sister of my mom. She usually visited us after she had a routine check. She was 82 at that time. That day, she insisted to visit us although it was already late in the afternoon. She said that today was my day off from work so she had to come to meet me. My mom and I had already had our lunch when she came. I offered her some meals for lunch but she refused. However she took some cookies that I offered to her and she looked very happy. Then my mom and Auntie had their conversations while I continued finishing the chores. Unlike her previous visits, on that day’s visit she spent more than two hours. When my cousin dropped by to pick her up, she promised me to come again the next Saturday and promised to cook my favorite food. Saturday morning, before I left for work. She called me apologizing for not coming to visit mom and bringing my favorite food she promised to cook. And this morning, my cousin called to shock me that Auntie was sent to hospital.

My sister and I visited her frequently in the days of her miserable treatments in the hospital. I have close relationship with Auntie. She is very special for me. Just as special as my mom. She becomes my second mom. And her children confirm that too. Whenever I visited Auntie in the hospital, my cousin would introduce me to other relatives as the “youngest and dearest” daughter of Auntie.

When I was a child, mom often brought me to Auntie’s home. I loved visiting her because she had a small shop and I liked to help her greet the buyers or find things for them. Auntie also liked cooking. And her cooking was delicious. I loved them. She cared for me so much, as much as her care to my mom, her sister. When I had problems and my mom could not find the best answer for me, the final solution would be my Auntie. Even when she could not give me the best solution, for me, sharing with her was just enough.

Now, she was just lying in her bed, could not talk, could not move her body, just sometimes opened her eyes. On the 8th day of her sickness, she opened her eyes more widely and longer than usual. So, I could talk to her longer. She even was moved into an intermediate care unit that was not as isolated as in the intensive care unit room. I told her about mom. I told her about my naughty cat. I told her about how I missed my favorite food that she promised to cook it for me. She smiled at me, stared at me. She tried to say something but could not. Then after tiring to try everything but she could not, she was crying and fell asleep. Auntie, Auntie, why should it be happening to you? I just could not believe it. A week before, you looked so well, very very well. Even on Saturday morning, when you called me, you fell very fine…..

I kept visiting her but there was no significant progress, worse, if I could say. Her temperature was rather high. She could not stay calm. She fell upset. I came home sadly this afternoon, figuring her condition in my mind. My thought was filled with my auntie’s condition; her pain, her upset feeling, her annoyance, her discomfort. All those feeling were expressed in her face.

That night, I fell asleep thinking of her, praying for her. And I was so surprised that auntie was coming to visit us as usual. She was not sick anymore. She was fine and smiling at me. I greeted her. “Hi Auntie, how could you come here? You are supposed to be in the hospital, right? But you are already fine, Auntie… I am glad to see you are fine..” But Auntie did not speak any words. She was just smiling. Then she faded. Auntie faded… Auntie?? …. Auntie?? …. I woke up. It was about three o’clock in the morning. It was just a dream.

At six o’clock that morning, I got up from bed and did the chores, prepared for work. Suddenly, the phone rang. I caught the phone and spoke with the caller. It was my cousin. With deep grief and holding the tears, she told me that Auntie passed away at 5 o’clock that morning. My mouth was blocked. I could not believe this. It was October 17th, 2008. My cousin told me that last night; Auntie had bad bleeding through her nose and mouth. Her temperature was high. Then she was unconscious until her soul left her body. I told my cousin that I dreamt of her. My cousin said it was because Auntie loved me so much that she would like to say good bye and see me for the last time. I did not know whether it was true or not but at that time, I could feel that Auntie was really there, coming to see me, in my room. But now, the reality is hard for me. I lost m Auntie. I can not chat with her, I can not taste her delicious cook…

It has been 40 days since Auntie left us. I still miss her, mourn for her. And today, my cousin dropp by in my office to give me a pair of sandals. She told me that actually Auntie would like to bring the sandals on the last day she visited me, but unfortunately she forgot where she kept them. When Auntie’s servant cleaned Auntie’s stuff then she found the sandals and told my cousin that the sandals should be given to me. Besides, Auntie also kept a box of body powder and some packs of mint candies that my mom usually bought from her small store. The last gifts were packed in a beautiful gift pack by my cousin. Tears dropped from my eyes. I hugged my cousin and cried. My cousin said, “If you have something to share, just share with me, talk with me as you always talk to my mom.” We both cried but we fell that Auntie’s love bound us tightly.